When the topic of my company, unoaked., comes up in public, it’s always fun to see where the conversation leads. Yesterday, my soul broke when a soon-to-be groom proudly voiced, “I’ll never have donuts at my wedding!”
….as I’m typing it, I literally hear the ‘record rip’ sound effect still screeching in my head bringing that conversation to a halt, allow me to explain. I was raised in the south and donuts signified a lot of things growing up, whether it was the arrival of my grandparents every time they visited, parking their car in our driveway, getting out box-of-donuts first, or the ‘Yay! It’s the weekend’ traditional donut run after church every Sunday. I vividly remember the first Krispy Kreme opening in New Orleans to a drive through line 30+ minutes long and ironically remember living in Tokyo seeing the first Krispy Kreme to open in Shinjuku, Japan to a line 90+ minutes long! Mister Donut is still my favorite Japanese donut shop! In fact, just last week I fell victim to that damn red “hot donuts” sign and had to stop for 2 original glaze Krispy Kreme donuts. For those who don’t know me well, the irony of my donut love, is I hate desserts, cake, and sweets! Stopping at the local, cash only, pink donut box, no logo, coffee and donut shop these days is my connection to the wonderful family memories of the good times past. So when this gentleman said, “I’ll never have donuts at my wedding!” [insert the ‘record rip’ sound effect again, now that you understand] my soul broke!
Besides thinking about how much you need a donut right now, you are probably curious to where this blog is going and how it will be helpful to you, allow me to explain further. It’s 2017. The rules are different when it comes to planning weddings. Yes, there are still many important ‘traditions’ couples choose to acknowledge and recreate, but let me be clear, no matter what your mother tells you, there-are-no-rules. Unlike previous generations, many couples are now getting married later in life, have established careers, and are paying for their own wedding celebrations. To clarify further for the people in the back “Money Gets To Make The Decisions.” Gone are the days of mom and grandma calling all of the shots because gone are the days of mom and grandma always paying the bill!
Alex and I are proud unoaked. is rooted in tradition, but follows no rules. We choose to flip the script because we can, because we had to. When Alex and I planned our wedding, there were many traditions we chose to incorporate, but because we had to, flipped the script. We were a non-traditional couple, getting married in a non-traditional way. Our way.
… Stay with me as I bring this donut full circle. It turns out the donut hating “I’ll never have donuts at my wedding” groom-to-be, doesn’t hate donuts at all!!! He simply couldn’t imagine not having a traditional wedding cake, because “that’s what everyone does.” Sadly, unoaked. did not take this groom on as a client, but I know we changed the philosophy of his wedding day. He literally realized, for the first time, that it was his wedding day and he had the power to make it his own.
Tradition is very important, but so is being true to yourself and who you are as a couple. Do things that make you real. Don’t be afraid to break from traditions that don’t suit you. Alex and I were lucky enough to enjoy the awesome responsibility of that freedom when planning our wedding. We were able to make up our own rules, because there weren’t any. Every couple should feel that same way.
In conclusion, serve donuts at your wedding, have a taco truck bring late night snacks, fly into your party on a helicopter, sing karaoke, wear cowboy boots, have your ceremony at a brewery, take an Uber home from your reception, feel lucky enough to enjoy the awesome responsibility of freedom when planning your own wedding!
As always, please feel free to comment or email me with any questions! I am always happy to help! Now, go eat a donut!